My Journey to Another Chapter Part 1

This story started with a morning chit chat with my HRD at TVRI Jakarta, "If you have the chance to continue study, then do it," she said.

"I will ma'am, Insya Allah I will look for a way to continue my degree."

Working in TVRI as a civil broadcaster had never been in my list of aspiration as a child. I was never in a family of civil worker, let alone circle of broadcasting world. But as my world revolved, here I am, 2 years working as a program director and daily broadcasting director and, gosh, how I am utterly passionate of it.

Here I met all different kinds of people who gave me valuable lessons, and as an eager learner, those lessons feed my anthuasiasme even more. While I got the opportunity to learn informally from everyone's experiences, and chances to get formal training from my institution, the urge to continue my degree majoring Television arises. 

Thus in early December 2022, after several small researches, I contacted ThinkOpenMind enquiring about applying to University of The Arts, London. I was excited because luckily, the terms and condition were as easy as a breeze for me somehow. Not because it was merely uncomplicated, but the requirements suited my condition. Maybe that's what they called destiny.

At first I thought, let's just apply, we'll think of other stuff later. I didn't expect much, I had nothing-to-lose mindset. I didn't even tell my parents about it. 

Day by day, while still doing my usual job at work, I prepared all of the requirements one at a time. ThinkOpenMind helped me by correcting my Personal Statement and script for Video Task. The Video Task was the hardest part at the beginning. I had to create a 3-minutes video explaining about what I see outside my windows.

I thought of the words for my video while I was sleeping, that's how I get to my most creative side. Silly, right? But I had been doing it since I was little. Then after ThinkOpenMind confirmed that the words were good enough, I took a video of myself with the help of my husband, who kept on telling me the video was already perfect, but I still wasn't confident about it. Then with the help of my best friend who I consider as my little brother at work, Hafiz, who edited my video for a finishing touch, the video was completed. And also with the support and prayers from Abi, Kiki, Alan, and Hasna who always reply to my silly messages when I get nerve breakdown, I finishes my submission to UAL at last. 

After the submission to UAL, I told myself to begin preparing for LPDP Scholarship application. This time, I needed to get IELTS score of minimum 6.5 (with each band minimum of 5.5). I also need to get the recommendation letter and permission letter from my superior at work. 

At first, I still wanted only few people to know that I am applying. But somehow the news got spreaded. It even evolved to a story that I got accepted, well, I prayed amin to that. Well, it's true, thankfully I got an offer from UAL which made me dumbfounded. I took my time to actually let that sink in. I got accepted! I still couldn't believe it somehow. 

Then by fate, I had to prepare LPDP while doing Documentary Film Training. How hard i cried, I had a lump in my heart. I can imagine how difficult it would be, dividing my attention between LPDP Administration submission and making a Documentary Film for this training. 

I met several people here, Bang Riadh and Bang Nail, who supported me since they found out I am applying for the scholarship. How could they not find out, I held my tears in class from the hardship I am facing? They accompanied me, giving me pointers on what to do when my head was clouded with tears and emotions. Then I had to write the essay which I had to revise several times, typing days and nights while accompanying Akbar who was editing the Documentary Film we were making.

Thanks to them I managed to finish everything on time, on the very last day of submission. Thanks to the people at my office who helped me with the recommendation letter from Director of General Affair, as well. Also, thanks to ThinkOpenMind who helped me follow up to UAL Admission team so I can obtain the LoA early so it can be in time for the submission of the scholarship.

And everything paid off when I open the LPDP portal at 23.59 on 14th March 2023, accompanied by you know who you are, thank you for being there until the last minute :). My submission got through. 

Next step will be the interview. Wish me luck. I need all the luck there is. 

Alhamdulillah, I said "Yes".

"Menikah itu butuh keberanian, bukan kesiapan. Kalau ditanya siap atau tidak siap, kita akan selalu punya alasan untuk tidak siap.” Sebuah kutipan yang aku dapatkan dari blog seorang penulis romantis Islami yang sama-sama mengagumi karya Paulo Coelho. Aku tak sengaja membacanya 20 hari sebelum hari ini, hari ulang tahun pernikahan kita.

2 tahun yang lalu, kita duduk di atas pelaminan, setelah memperjuangkan terwujudnya momen tersebut. Bukan hal yang mudah, namun tekad kita kuat dan Allah ada bersama kita. Sesudah kesulitan ada kemudahan, itu janjiNya.

3 tahun kita mengenal satu sama lain, sebelum akhirnya kita memutuskan untuk berhenti "pacaran" dan menikah. Banyak kerabat dan kenalan yang menyarankan untuk sudahi saja ikatan yang "tidak diridhai" itu. Kami pun seringkali mendiskusikan tentang anjuran orang-orang untuk menghilangkan status pacaran yang terlarang. Ya Allah, tanpa disuruh pun sebenarnya kami sangat ingin. Tapi kami harus memperjuangkan status "putus" tersebut.

Yang pertama harus kita lakukan adalah Basmallah dan luruskan niat. Kemudian mengumpulkan modal untuk biaya sebagai proposal ke orang tua. Saat orang lain mungkin sibuk menyiapkan proposal sidang skripsi, saat itu aku sibuk menyiapkan proposal skripsi dan proposal nikah. Sebagai seorang mahasiswi, dua proposal ini penting pada saat itu. Aku sudah tidak memikirkan lagi proposal romantis , proposal "Will you marry me?", karena tanpa kamu mengajukannya pun aku sudah meng-acc-nya. Kamu bukan orang yang romantis dengan kata-kata, malah kamu adalah type yang sering diam seribu bahasa, entah itu bahasa verbal maupun bahasa tubuh. Sehingga aku tidak pernah mengharapkan adanya acara bertekuk lutut sambil bilang "Will you marry me?".

Aku dididik untuk menjadi wanita yang mandiri, visioner dan realistis. Dari awal kuliah aku sudah bertanya ke kakak tingkat tentang perkuliahan dan tugas akhir, baik itu skripsi ataupun karya desain. Sehingga saat yang lain sedang sibuk memilih tujuan rekreasi, aku memilih tempat yang menunjang tugas akhir ku. Saat yang lain ke luar kota untuk berlibur, aku survey lapangan untuk kebutuhan proposal. Pada akhirnya proposalku tersusun, bahkan sebelum waktunya diajarkan untuk menyusun proposal.

Saat semua proposal sudah di acc, baik proposal TA dan proposal menikah, dimulailah perjuangan selanjutnya. Perjuangan untuk mendapatkan ijazah dan ijabsah! Jadwal di susun, mulai dari jadwal mengerjakan materi-materi tugas akhir, jadwal bertemu dosen pembimbing, jadwal transportasi untuk ke Bekasi dan ke Cilegon, jadwal survey vendor dan jadwal jadwal yang bisa terjadwal.

Ada yang bilang, sehabis lamaran adaaaaaaaaaaa saja godaan dan cobaan. Tiap orang berbeda jatahnya, tapi jatah kami adalah datangnya cerita lama dan bencana alam. Aku pikir, datangnya cerita lama karena Allah memerintahkan aku untuk menyelesaikan cerita itu. Cerita yang menggantung 6 tahun lamanya tanpa ada clearance. Jadi cobaan tersebut ada agar aku menutup buku cerita lama agar ke depannya tidak ada lagi lembaran yang terbuka di buku tersebut yang menghilangkan fokusku dari buku baru.

Cobaan lainnya berupa bencana alam terjadi 2 kali. Yang pertama adalah banjir yang melanda jabodetabek persis saat harus mengurus surat-surat izin menikah dari pihak laki-laki. Sehingga calon mama mertua harus berakit-rakit naik perahu karet mengarungi banjir agar dapat mengurus semua surat. Bencana alam yang kedua terjadi saat jadwal untuk survey sudah tersusun, yaitu Gunung Kelud meletus, mengakibatkan penerbangan tidak jadi dan tiket pesawat yang sudah kami pesan direfund dan harus mengatur ulang semua perjanjian dan jadwal-jadwal yang ada. Memang benar, manusia berencana tapi Allah yang menentukan.

Menikah adalah memulai sesuatu yang baru. Sebuah level baru dalam kehidupan. Sehingga kita harus lulus dulu dari level sebelumnya dengan baik untuk persiapan menghadapi level selanjutnya. Cobaan yang ada harus dihadapi, karena ujian yang tidak dihadapi suatu saat akan diuji lagi dengan ujian yang sama.

2 tahun pernikahan yang penuh dengan kerikil-kerikil tajam dapat dilalui dengan mudah jika dilakukan bersama. Jangan fokus pada sakitnya menginjak kerikil sehingga lupa bahwa pemandangan sepanjang perjalanan itu indah. Itu yang aku pelajari selama 2 tahun berstatus istri seorang Hanggara Surya Dewangga. Alhamdulillah, I said "yes".

A Lifetime Reminder

My 17th birthday, 24th August 2008, held such a great lesson in my life. Then I learnt about friendship, sharing, family, reaching my goals, dreams and most important, how to live lively.

I didn't have a massive birthday party or anything. Instead I took my family and friends to pay a visit to an orphanage, something i dreamt of since i was in kindergarten. Something a regular seventeen-year-old wouldn't want to do.

Before we all celebrate my birthday there, though, all of my closest dearest friends gathered at Aida's house. They gave me such a reckless surprise. They threw eggs and flour at me and also showered me with a huge bucket of water. In addition, Ichwan just simply poured detergent, which was supposed to be used to clean my outfit from egg yolk, over my head. And hell, it burns!

"I know you hate this kind of surprise," Aida told me. "That's why we did this to you."
I will never forget that, Ai. Haha.

Later that day, we all went to the orphanage together. It was such an unexplainable feeling, seeing those parent-less children sitting on a dried-plant type of carpet laid on the dirt, staring at me with inquisitive eyes. They looked so adorable. Oh how i wish i can help them more than i was about to.
All I could do at that time was donate a stack of old books, dozens of usable clothing and a small amount of money which was equal to nothing compared to what they gave me.

In return, all of them wished me a happy birthday and pray together for my success in life. God, I felt so helpless. It was the best birthday celebration ever! Although my dad couldn't make it because he was already back to work abroad but my mom was there still. I couldn't hold my tears so I let them slipped as my mom gave us all a speech about me and wished me a happy birthday. I was really touched. I realized how she loves me unconditionally and how I was sometimes such an unobedient child to her. It was my first time crying in public, in front of so many eyes and i was neither ashamed nor embarrased from it. The tears felt so warm, unlike any other useless tears i cried earlier that year from my recent break-up. I sobbed as I gave my speech of gratitude. The more I sobbed, the more i became speechless.

Thank you, God, for giving me such a great family, a bunch of loyal friends and precious lessons in my gracious life.

November

Nama bulan ini berasal dari bahasa Romawi 'novem' yang berarti sembilan, karena itu adalah bulan kesembilan dalam kalender Romawi.

Hanya sedikit orang yang merasa November itu menyenangkan. Suku Anglo-Saxon menyebut November 'Angin monath', karena itu adalah waktu dimana angin dingin mulai bertiup. Mereka juga menyebutnya 'Blod monath', karena saat karnaval ternak dibantai untuk makanan musim dingin. Dan kebetulan sudah beberapa tahun belakangan ini Idul Adha dimana kaum Muslim menyebelih kurban juga.

November

Bulan yang sakral buat LeViSaAi...

Bulan ketika "dia" dilahirkan...

Bulan puncaknya kehidupan di tiap tahun untukku...

sahabat : penyemangat, pendukung, pembangun, penyembuh

pagi ini aku dapat sebuah pesan singkat yang mengingatkanku bahwa hari ini adalah tanggal 28, tanggal sakral dalam hidupku setelah 2tahun 11 bulan bersama mereka, sahabatku. mereka bukan sekedar sahabat, orang-orang yang ada saat suka duka. tapi mereka adalah bagian dari diriku. saat mereka senang, aku ikut senang, saat mereka sedih, ikut sedih, saat sakit, rasa itu terasa. walaupun jarak kita sekarang adalah antar 4 kota, 3 propinsi.

Jarak yang ada tidak memutuskan ikatan batin yang terbentuk selama kita bersama. walaupun hanya bisa berkomunikasi melalui media virtual yang kadang bersifat destruktif tapi benteng persahabatan kita tidak lantas rapuh karena pondasi yang telah kita buat amat kuat karena menggunakan batu-batu empati dan semen kebersamaan, pasir kasih sayang dan tetesan air dari air mata dari hati kita.

Aku bangga punya sahabat seperti kalian. kita yang saling melengkapi dengan karakter kita masing-masing. ibarat meja dengan empat kaki, saling menyemangati, mendukung, membangun dan menyembuhkan...

28 Oktober 2011

                                             love LeViSaAi